THIS way, THAT way...

Another wonderful midnight!! I love midnight so much. Don't know why. Maybe this is the only time which I can settle myself down and do whatever I like. I like to enjoy the moment of myself and live in my own world without having anyone to disturb in the midnight. It is probably because I got to face the reality world with all the challenges and real races among people the moment I open my eyes the next morning. Got to wake up early to start the daily routine til night without having the ability to follow the choices of my heart. For example, fishermen got to go fishing in the sea although it rains because they have to earn a living of their own; students got to study hard to pass the examinations although they don't like it because it is the only pathway to lead them to their ambitions; the prime minister got to crack his head to think of the best way to take care about his nations although he seldom has his own time because it is his responsibility...yea...RESPONSIBILITY!! Its the only answer. From the moment we are brought to this world, each and everyone of us has our own burden. So that's the reasons we are here...to accomplish our dreams...and the wishes of our loved ones~

I just don't understand myself for crapping so much here. Probably it's the time to slow down my pace to listen to myself and the others. I have been thinking a lot these few days, since the day I got my results until now...So here I am standing at the crossroad. It's the exact time to decide which path to choose, to carry out life and bring it to the next level. "A super shit result!" I laugh to myself. But I never regret for what I got. At least I have put my effort in it. So let's just accept it open-heartedly and take this as a lesson to encourage myself to do better next time. Past several months of struggle to climb the ladder of life leaves me at times falling, still I know I must eventually pick myself up because there is no one else who would come in my pathway and give me a helping hand except for myself. After all, SPM is just a pass which will bring us towards the bridge that lead to our dreams. The more important question now is WHAT AM I GOING TO PURSUE AFTER THIS???

To be truthful, I always wanted to be a doctor since I was young. But as time passed, I think that I want to be something more special. A SURGEON perhaps?? But I'll need a super high qualifications. I have been wondering around what to study. Foundation? A-level? Form 6? That's why I keeps applying for scholarships and courses which take up quite a lot of my time. Want to know the conclusion of that? I applied for stupid things that I don't like such as accounting and engineering. I just don't know what's the point that I am doing that. Even if I get the scholarship, I won't accept it as I really don't like all those courses. But there's not much scholarships which are available for medical course.T.T End up my mum told me its okay, no need to think too much, just go for the offer I got from UPM. It's just only a foundation. After studying that only I can choose the courses I want in UPM. The most important thing is there's medical course in UPM!!! Of course I got to get super good pointer for foundation only I can get that course. People (including counselors) keep asking me what's my 2nd and 3rd choices. But I really don't have even until now. I know it's very dangerous to be like that. Medical course is the only course I want to pursue! No others~

Now you can already imagine what's the following questions people like to ask. WHY DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A DOCTOR? CAN YOU stand the pressure...spend so many years to study that course...bla...bla...bla...?? But only me myself know the answer. I LOVE PRESSURE. I love to do things under pressure (although it is suffering) but I still enjoy the feeling. I LOVE TO DO THINGS THAT OTHERS DON'T LIKE because I like to be special. I LOVE blood because it's the thing that other people are afraid of. Blood can also make people nervous, frightened and scare. This is amazing man! I LOVE helping people. I LOVE to do works without having the time limit even it's from morning until night. That's why I usually don't like to sleep when I start doing my work. I won't eat and sleep as long as I haven't complete my works (I know this is terribly bad...but I will try to throw away this bad habits). Doctors usually have to answer emergency calls. This is challenging man! I LOVE being busy!!(Crazy fella) I don't like jobs that just sitting in the office and enjoying the air conditioner. It's like SIENZZZ...

*p/s: Whichever road you decide to take there is no right or wrong unless you design your destiny to fit its pattern accordingly to suit your needs and wants. And I strongly believe that
"It is the Weak that Falls, yet the Strong shall Rise!” =DDD

NATIONAL SERVICE

"KHIDMAT UNTUK NEGARA"

Really can't believe that my last post was on December last year. As this is the first post on 2012, so let's just start with my new year resolution (although it seems so late for now). But frankly speaking, I haven't thought of any new year resolution because there isn't much time to let me settle down things in 2011 and prepare for 2012.

"Malaysia Boleh!!" Feeling familiar? On 1/1/2012, its the first day I went to PLKN. This is the programme that I have been waited for so long as I love camping so much. But the beginning of those few days really seems like gonna take my life. BOREDOM is the only word that can describe that feeling. What we did in the camp was eating and sleeping. Seriously, that was the only activities. To people who are overactive or can't sit still like me, it was really suffering and torturing. What I did whole day in the camp was READING..READING..n READING..Know what that others told me?? "Hey, you have just finished SPM. Don't need to show your hardworking-ness!" IDIOT is the most suitable word that I can use to describe them (oh, I am just so bad). I love reading, so what? One day seems like one year....Luckily the next day Pavi registered herself to the camp. Oh! This is really the gift from god that I got a friend here and so we chatted to our hearts' content in my dorm.

Actually I was so excited to come to the camp and just took a few minutes the night before to pack my things as there wasn't that much things to bring. But the activities in the camp made me DISAPPOINT a bit because most of the activities I have already done before in other camp. It was not that challenging as what I had expected. On the contrary, I think the KRS & NGO camp that I attended before in Melacca was the best one. But one thing that attracted me the most or by other means caught my heart the most was the friendliness showed by the trainers. Although sometimes they would also scold us for our misbehaved, they treated us like their own children and siblings. I love all the trainers so much and I treated them like my own family members too. Even though some of them like to play pranks and joke with me, that was what that made the moments in PLKN precious. I really miss them and luckily we are still keeping contact. On the other hand, meeting friends in PLKN was the happiest things in life. I love making new friends and there it goes. I knew lots of friends (especially friends of different races) that I won't forget them in my life. We went through thick and thin although we just manage to spend 3 months together. Therefore, I would like to thank all of them who made my life wonderful. Without them, I wouldn't be the ME now who are having so many friends to care about me. To sum up, that was really a SUPERB, FABULOUS N' AWESOME memories~~~<3